WELCOME TO THE 2023 GOLDEN PIGTAIL SMUT AWARDS

I’m your Sommelier of Smut for the evening, Alexa Sommers, and I’ll eventually [buy my books] be bringing you the results you’ve all been waiting for [buy my books].

I assume all the nominees are dressed accordingly in their fanciest P.J.s and anxiously awaiting the results. Free food and beverages can be found in your fridge. Help yourself to anything you would like. Please tip your … well me [buy my books].

This year’s Golden Pigtails received a metric slew (Canadian Measurement) of nominations by some of the best erotic authors in the field and put our curating team’s ability to copy and paste to the test. As usual errors were made (I blame the wine). Thank you to all those who helped find those before voting began.

Votes were cast by over 1600 unique voters for a total of too many votes to count (what am I, an accountant) across 19 Categories. Still, we had a couple of categories with hourly changes on the final day of voting.

We also received thousands of mysterious votes left on the porch while the hamsters counted, but you can rest assured that our integrity never waivered. Only those accompanied by sufficient monetary compensation were counted.

I want to send a HEARTFELT THANK YOU to everyone who voted and to all the nominees for helping to make this event what it is. Without you, your stories, your votes and your enjoyment of the works these authors produce, we are nothing.

To this year’s winners, in order to streamline awards (and because I don’t have contact info for all award winners) please email alexa@alexasommers.com with the category/categories you won and your Amazon store of choice (US, UK, CA) to claim your prizes.

And now, onto what everyone is actually waiting for… to buy my books... err… I mean the awards!

The “It’s Always Better Together” Award for Best Erotic Anthology

This category nearly saw a random disqualification under the “Alexa is a Bitch” rule but calmer heads talked me down and fed me some wine.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 20.80% of the Vote

1st Place with 31.43% of the Vote

The “Begging for More” Award for BDSM Erotica

These authors worked hard to “whip” up votes and had us all begging for more.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 27.39% of the Vote

1st Place with 28.52% of the Vote

The “I Just Wanna Watch” Award for Cuckold/Hotwife Erotica

Just watch… we all know how much you like to watch.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 21.15% of the Vote

1st Place with 27.52% of the Vote

The “More the Merrier” Award for Harem/Reverse Harem Erotica

Sometimes two… three… even four, just isn’t enough. Thankfully these votes were not based on the number of partners in the books.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 23.87% of the Vote

1st Place with 27.74% of the Vote

The “Purple Cock is Good Cock” Award for Fantasy/Sci-Fi Erotica

Someone has been casting spells and calling upon the old gods and the new to stir up votes.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 13.53% of the Vote

1st Place with 27.52% of the Vote

The “All Swords No Sheaths” Award for Gay Erotica

Crossing swords has never been more fun.

And the Winners are:

The “Scissoring with Runners” Award for Lesbian Erotica

They may not be able to outrank “Daddies Hotwife Taboo Gangbang Vol 32” on the Amazon Lesbian charts (fix your shit Amazon) but these stories are #1 in the fan’s hearts.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 17.34% of the Vote

1st Place with 28.65% of the Vote

The “Take all Cummers” Award for LGBTQ+ Erotic

These books do not discriminate, they only care if your sex scenes are hot and willing.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 19.13% of the Vote

1st Place with 28.80% of the Vote

The “Tickler” Award for Parody/Comedy Erotica

Funny how… do I amuse you?

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 23.31% of the Vote

1st Place with 27.70% of the Vote

The “Not Afraid of the Dark” Award for Dark/Taboo Erotica

These books go hard and their voters did the same.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 23.44% of the Vote

1st Place with 28.70% of the Vote

The “Yes Alexa Finally Released Paranormal Bondage” Award for Paranormal/Horror Erotica

These books go hump in the night, have you got your fear fuck on?

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 23.44% of the Vote

1st Place with 29.70% of the Vote

The “Hearts will Race” Award for Romantic Erotica

This category stole my heart and then damn near gave me a heart attack because it came down to two votes.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 28.42% of the Vote

1st Place with 28.43% of the Vote

The “Any Holiday is a Smut Holiday” Award for Holiday Celebration Themed Erotica

After reading these books I need a holiday, wow. Remind me to invest in new toys before Easter rolls around.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 18.57% of the Vote

1st Place with 34.18% of the Vote

The “Going Hands Free” Award for Erotic Audiobook

When you free up both hands, beautiful things happen. Thanks to these amazing narrators we are able to do just that.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 20.26% of the Vote

1st Place with 30.11% of the Vote

Some of you may have notices there is a name missing from the Nominations, someone who cleaned up the awards in 2021 and 2022. Why? Because we got sick of giving her all the prizes and decided to award her….

The “Stop Stealing All the Awards” Lifetime Achievement Award

Ladies and gentlemen… Lacey Cross.
Lacey give us a speech!

Thank you, Alexa, for this award. I began my writing journey in 2021, and I am thrilled to have won the Rookie Smut Award for 2021.

I’m also honored to have received awards in various categories in 2021 and 2022. The awards are exciting and help the erotica community get recognition, and I would like to express my gratitude to Alexa for graciously letting me bow out of solo book nominations this year. Currently, only my collaboration stories and the voice actors who narrated my audiobooks are up for vote.

I want to thank all the amazing authors who have supported me in the last three years. You have helped me grow as a writer and have challenged me to research kinks and learn how to do the 20 billion other things an indie author has to figure out to be successful. I appreciate all the pep talks and virtual hugs when I was struggling.

And my most heartfelt thanks goes to the readers and for all those who dare to explore their erotic fantasies, you inspire us writers to push the limits and to normalize sexual desires, no matter how kinky they are. May we continue challenging, inspiring, and celebrating the power of erotica together. And we can all start by reading a story we haven’t read before from one of nominated authors. I already have mine chosen.

The “I’ll Just Be a Minute” Award For Medium Micro Erotica

Hot and Quick – Just how we like it.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 24.36% of the Vote

There’s Always Room on Daddy’s Lap — Author: Olive Spencer

1st Place with 24.96% of the Vote

In the Groove — Author: Marsha Adams

The “I’ll Be in My Bunk” Award For Medium Long Erotica

Now we are heating things up, a quickie is fun but sometimes you need more.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 21.41% of the Vote

The Ghost Princess — Author: Celia McKinley

1st Place with 31.90% of the Vote

The Priestess and the Queen — Author: Posy Churchgate

The “Tied Up in Chain Links” Award For Medium Serial Erotica

When you just can’t get enough, find some chain…. links.

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 21.36% of the Vote

The Insatiable Touch — Author: Vivian Blake

1st Place with 30.73% of the Vote

A Flame From the Past — Author: Jordan Riley

The “Shouldn’t You Be Monetizing This?” Award for Free Smut

Anyone nominated in this category should be ashamed of themselves. I am giving you the meanest of bunny frightening glares right now. Stop giving away this amazing work for free!

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 21.56% of the Vote

One Hour Freeuse With A Stranger — Author: Dilana Rose

1st Place with 26.34% of the Vote

Memories of an Aging Pussy hound — Author: Jackson Goode

The “Levelled Up” Golden Pigtail Rookie Smut Star of 2023

And that brings us to the final Category. The stand out rookie erotic author of 2023. Oh to be a new author and not yet know the soul crushing amount of work ahead of you. This one is really no surprise, she’s had an amazing breakout year!

And the Winners are:

2nd Place with 24.33% of the Vote

Olive Spencer

1st Place with 28.96% of the Vote and 2023 Rookie Smut Star is:

Ryn Rehnard